[As he held her after she died, so she holds him now, resisting the urge to make any sort of a move to comfort him other than running her hands idly up and down his lower back. What good would words do? What good does anything do? She wants simply to hold him, to let him be the better person of the two of them, to let him mourn everything she can't.
As she closes her eyes, there are faces in her mind. Her Spartans. Miranda. Jacob. Her parents. All she loved and left behind. At a gentle shake of his shoulders, she finally feels it all hit her, a lump rising in her throat as a cold, hollow feeling sweeps through her chest.
She won't cry, but she will let herself feel, if only for a moment, the weight of the world hitting her. Her responsibilities. Everything that's been on her head. The ways she tried to escape them, to be normal, to love and be loved.
Jacob was her world briefly and brightly, and she looks back on that time as something grand, something she wished could have lasted. And now she knows she'll lose him for good, likely well before his time. And her daughter, too. Her daughter who probably never loved her or wanted anything to do with her.
For now, thankfully, she has Jacob. And right now, she'll be as strong as she can for him.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2013-04-08 03:25 am (UTC)As she closes her eyes, there are faces in her mind. Her Spartans. Miranda. Jacob. Her parents. All she loved and left behind. At a gentle shake of his shoulders, she finally feels it all hit her, a lump rising in her throat as a cold, hollow feeling sweeps through her chest.
She won't cry, but she will let herself feel, if only for a moment, the weight of the world hitting her. Her responsibilities. Everything that's been on her head. The ways she tried to escape them, to be normal, to love and be loved.
Jacob was her world briefly and brightly, and she looks back on that time as something grand, something she wished could have lasted. And now she knows she'll lose him for good, likely well before his time. And her daughter, too. Her daughter who probably never loved her or wanted anything to do with her.
For now, thankfully, she has Jacob. And right now, she'll be as strong as she can for him.]