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[mouthshut]

first.last@compass.net (3) (no subject) D12 63:19PM first.last@compass.net (6) Re: Mission D11 8:01PM first.last@compass.net (12) [text] D10 9:35AM

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[mouthshut]

[And he is okay with that. He knows he'll have nightmares for days to come. He'll be clinging to her in the night if she'll let him and he doubts he'll be sleeping well at all. But having her with him, that'll make this entire thing bearable.]

I didn't think you would. [He wouldn't change anything either, between them that is in his past. But that's a kiss to her head again.] As are you in mine, Catherine. You're not getting rid of me that easily.

[coffeebeforescience]

[In all honesty, it's likely neither of them will sleep until they're too exhausted to stay awake. Perhaps they'll simply lay there and stare at their new unfamiliar ceiling. But they can talk about each other, and Miranda, maybe even about the Spartans, and get some closure in their own ways and times.]

No. I didn't think I was. You've always been the better of the two of us.

[It's an echo of something she's said recently, and she knows that it's still true. Always will be.]

[mouthshut]

[You know, give him some paint and he'll paint the ceiling like stars. He'll totally try to paint the stars over Luna sometime for her.

But yes, that's probably going to be the case. Getting to know one another again, maybe even let slip some of the stories he's keeping from her. Yes, they can do that.]

And yet, I still love you. What does that make me?

[This is his way of heading her off from "You deserve better than me" talks. He's not going into it again.]

[coffeebeforescience]

A fool.

[But now she warms, curling her body toward him ever so slightly at his words. Love. To be loved. It's fascinating, now that she looks at it from the perspective of someone who will lose everything precious in life. She may have taken it for granted before, or not even cared, but for him... For Jacob, she's willing to try to understand it.

She'd love to see the stars. She'd love to show him Endymion, introduce him to her parents, let them see that yes, their impossible child has met her match. Someone who knocks her down a notch just by being close.

My, how things had changed in the last few weeks.

So it's said with affection, a softness she reserves for the greatest of discoveries.]

[mouthshut]

But one who got the girl.

[And he shifts so they're both comfortable like that. For him it's perfectly natural to love as he does, especially with his life so uncertain. But for her to show it, to cuddle closer he's certain things are worse than he thought.

He'd like to introduce her to his parents, so they can see the woman that's caught his eye and heart. That he's happy.

And to show why he keeps an empty place next to him on benches and in other places with Miranda.

So he's just the touch bit happy in that reply, the slightest bit smug and a lot of just love.]

[coffeebeforescience]

[There's a bittersweet half smile on her face. He never gets her, does he? He gets her mind and her heart, but he never captures her. He takes care of their daughter and he loves her from a distance and they never find that balance.

This is something like a second chance, but she's not sure how to take it or deal with it. All she wants is to forget everything. For the first time in her life she thinks she might've been happier not knowing something.]

Yes. I suppose you did.

[mouthshut]

[They never get that balance. He's never given a chance to tell her that, tell her a lot of things he should have. And frankly he's rather happy not to have it at home, he's rather particular about who he wants.

And this is a second chance, and frankly he's rather annoyed at himself for forgetting his cardinal rule; Don't ask about things you don't want to know about.]

Can't say I'm unhappy about how long it's taken, well worth the wait.

[coffeebeforescience]

Worth the wait?

[Yes, it only took this insanity to bring them back together, but... At least she knows he's here. For now, he's here, and she can lean on him ever so slightly whenever she loses her bearings. Right now, they're both lost together. And that's... somehow that's okay. She's glad it's him that she's leaning on, whose hand she's able to hold and who at least tries to understand her.]

I'm glad you feel that way. And I'm glad it's you.